Think About It: Tortoise Among Us - KFVE, K5-Hawaii News, Weather and Sports

January 22, 2015

Think About It: Tortoise Among Us

A wayward tortoise was found in the driveway of a Kaneohe homeowner last week. As of the time I wrote this editorial, an awful lot of people had come forward, claiming that the tortoise is theirs. Others simply called in and said they would be happy to house the turtle. Of course, the turtle itself is providing no information, nor do we know if the turtle was actually trying to escape, as speed is not often an indication of a turtle's real motives. 

With all of this activity and commotion, I fear this tortoise is becoming a mere shell of what he or she used to be. Perhaps the wandering turtle could be loaned for a short time to the legislature to show it a live analogy of how many voters feel it operates annually.  State agriculture officials hoped to determine the tortoise's owner through markings and photos from some of the alleged owners, though the creature indicated that he avoids Facebook and Twitter like the plague, and has also refused repeated tattoo attempts, except for the "Ainokea" one.

To help boost attendance at the first UH home football game next fall, some have suggested a race between the tortoise and a rabbit, but that sounds hare-brained to me, so let's just support our team because it's our team. Logic would indicate that either this tortoise came from a home nearby to where he was found or he's been a road warrior for years, living off the lush underbrush. Perhaps he simply missed the bus and was taking a shortcut. Let's hope he's reunited with his owners soon and can live the next 125-years or so in peace, as yes, tortoises can live that long, which might be an indication that we should all just slow down and enjoy the ride. Think about it...

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