Think About It: Oxymorons and False Truth - KFVE, K5-Hawaii News Now, Local Programming

Think About It: Oxymorons and False Truth

Last week some false killer whales showed up off the Kona coast, and while it was great to see this unique excursion, it got me thinking about the plight of these majestic creatures. How'd you like to go through your whole life being called "false". If these dolphins are having an identity problems, it's because we've misnamed them. Known formally as pseudorca crassidens, why do we keep calling them false anything; let's call them by their real name. No one calls me anyone a false genius, but they surely might label them an idiot.

Here's another one badly mislabeled- jumbo shrimp. Come on, if they're shrimp, they simply can't be jumbo. Shrimp implies little, puny, and if these behemoths of the shrimp world deserve more serious recognition well, then let's give it to ‘em! How about "royal shrimp"? I know, shrimp refers to the entity as a form of crustacean, not its size, but it just doesn't feel right.  And how about our very own pineapple- which is neither pine nor apple? Spaniards thought it looked like a pine cone, and the English apparently likened its juicy fruit to apple- simple, but so wrong. How about thorny fruit, or prickly pod? 

Here's another one: uncontested divorce- well, someone's a bit upset? Paid volunteers? Pretty ugly? Original copy? Or a classic- civil war- nothing civil about war, is there? We have a number of these oxymorons well-represented here- stay/go is a good one. Well, as I always say amidst the confusion on many things in life locally and elsewhere- if can, can, if no can, no can. Think about it…

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